This is a 5-part series on Purpose, Passion, Potential and Position. My logic for this progression is explained in a previous post here. In this post, I will focus on The Place of Position.
The Moments of Feeling Displaced
How should one place the power and promise of position in life? This is a crucial question to ask, especially if one is in the current predicament of having to accept a new position for which one has no heart.
In my coaching sessions, I encounter people in high positions who are emotionally jaded, intellectually lost and desperately searching for a sense of personal mission. They do not feel they fit in. Some question if the benefits of the position is worth it as they begin to realise they are giving up something which they are not yet able to put a finger on. These people feel they ought to be working for ‘something else’ or ‘something greater’. In searching for their place, they feel a profound sense of being displaced.
If we are honest, many of us will recall moments in which we feel similarly displaced. Some of us may have rejected those moments outright, as it seemed disloyal for entertaining them. Some of us may have entertained them but felt helpless to pursue these moments any further for fear of jeopardising our roles as breadwinners. Following this trail of breadcrumbs seemed perilous, foolhardy and terribly lonely – who can we even turn to for advice when we encounter such moments? Better therefore to bury them under the earth!
The truth is, we should welcome these moments as pause for reflection. The cost of ignoring them is too high. Those who bury these moments reap a future harvest of regret and loss. Instead, one ought to take courage and confront these moments for what they truly are – good signs that indicate a change in season and the promise of a new harvest of insights on how to transform our current jobs into more meaningful vocations.
The Push for Position
When I was holding a salaried position in my younger days, I hankered to be promoted faster than my peers. It was a tough balancing act to meet all the criteria for promotion without allowing the race to consume me. One has to please one’s boss, which becomes hard on the odd occasion when one does not understand or agree with the boss. One has to display one’s capabilities without coming across as showing off. One has to avoid making silly mistakes, which is hard as making mistakes is sometimes the only way to learn. One has to be helpful to others while learning to discern if one is being taken advantage of. One has to be helpful to the boss without coming across as bootlicking.
The Prison of Position
When I finally received my first significant promotion, it occurred just early enough to cause the dynamics between me and my colleagues to be altered ever so slightly. All of a sudden, I lost my lunch-time kakis (Singapore slang for pals) as they re-assessed whether I still belonged to them or had moved over to the dark side to be with the ‘bosses’. For the first time, I ate alone during lunch and I absolutely hated it. The position I hankered for became an unexpected prison as I struggled to make sense of the new dynamic. All of a sudden, I understood why people say “it is lonely at the top”, and I was still at the bottom!
The Price of Position
One of the most limiting ways to lead is through one’s positional authority. Sure, it gets things done, provided you are careful to define what you mean by ’things’ and what you mean by ‘done’. Regardless of how successful one becomes, if one relies solely on positional authority for success, there is always a price to be paid and it always catches up with you eventually.
The Leadership Cost
Positional authority breeds compliance but discourages inventiveness. It does not tolerate differing views or any creative action that deviates from the plan, lest it be seen as undermining one’s authority. Over time, talented people become discouraged. Good workers learn to grit their teeth in compliance, dampening whatever suggestions their own expertise may furnish as a solution to the obvious blindspots these leaders are displaying. Things will eventually get done, but at the cost of the gradual deadening of talented and diligent staff under these leaders. The things that get done are the most obvious items their leaders expected, the minimum needed to “get it over and done with”. The things that get done are not necessarily done in the best way, nor might they even be the best things to be done had the collective wisdom of others been sought.
The Organisational Cost
Leaders who lead through positional authority create organisations that will not move on their own without their assent. Initially, they may revel in the power, but eventually, they will lament why the organisation is ‘not thinking’, why nothing is moving without them. Soon, it begins to take a toil on their personal well being, for over time, their seemingly inexhaustible personal energy will also begin to wane. With age, they begin to realise that something must surely be wrong, that surely there must be another way to get the cart moving rather than to flog the dead horse repeatedly. Unfortunately, the tragedy is that positional leaders create hierarchical organisations that breed more positional leaders. It becomes a vicious cycle that will take enormous courage, clarity and cost to break.
The Personal Cost
Often, leaders who grow up with the trappings of positional authority never really learn to adapt to the real world. When they retire from office, they realise they have become misfits in society. They miss their privileges and the compliance they take for granted. All of a sudden, they become unwanted, unneeded, and feel unappreciated. Their sense of self takes such a battering during this period of transition that some of them actually get clinically depressed.
The Impotence of Position
Ultimately, there are things, especially the really important ones, that cannot be done through positional authority. Leaders who rely on positional authority soon find themselves frustrated at their own impotence. At this point in their development, some leaders decide to learn new ways of influencing, sparking a new season of growth for themselves and for their organisations. Other leaders, unfortunately, continue down the path of autocracy and become even more dictatorial, perpetuating an unhealthy regime in the organisation.
Wise leaders know the limits of positional authority and learn to hold the trappings of position lightly. I’ve written about this attitude of not allowing position to get its grip on us here drawing from the example of the Kings of Bhutan. Let me illustrate with another story about positional authority from another encounter with the current King of Bhutan.
Encounter with a King: A Person at the Ultimate Position
I first came to Bhutan as a tourist. I formed friendships with the people I met, one of whom eventually was identified by the King of Bhutan to lead a royal project. He remembered our conversations and thought I’d be a good fit to recommend as a consultant to the project. Hence, I was invited back to Bhutan, this time for an audience with the King.
I sat alone in the imposing waiting room while awaiting my turn for the audience. I fidgeted nervously with my attire, and wondered what I should say to a king. I’ve met with presidents, ministers, and senior officials before. However, I knew that meeting with a king is quite a different thing altogether. While ministers and senior officials may be imposing, they are ultimately elected officials who were ‘ordinary’ once, even if some of them try very hard to make you feel small. A king, on the other hand, is born into greatness and nobility. Not only so, this particular king is universally revered by his people. He is by all accounts, the ‘real deal’. I was going to meet a person at the ultimate position, and I was gripped with anxiety.
The door to the throne room opened and I was ushered in. The attendant stopped at the door and beckoned me to proceed as they retreated with their heads bowed. I took a couple of tentative steps, uncertain of whether to keep my head bowed or to look up to negotiate where to move towards.
All of a sudden, I heard a voice beside me calling out my name. I felt a hand on my shoulder as the King of Bhutan greeted me warmly with both hands. I tried to fumble with the traditional Bhutanese bow as I was meticulously taught by the attendant, but I never got past the beginning of the gesture. The King stopped me and led me instead to a seat next to him. (Surely I was supposed to stand or at the most sit across from him?). He offered me tea and tried to make me (who by now was a complete bundle of nerves at the sudden turn of things) feel at ease.
Knowing how his position can get in the way of a good discussion, the King of Bhutan was deliberate in ensuring that I was put at ease. What ensued in the next couple of hours was one of the most mesmerising encounters I have ever spent with a person who had all the power and position to wield and yet steadfastly refused to allow all those to get in the way of a meaningful conversation.
Because of that conversation, I was clear about how I could contribute to Bhutan. I was impressed by a king enlightened enough to know when and where not to use positional authority, who knows how not be mastered by his position, but seeks instead to use his position for the greater good of his kingdom. As a result, for the next five years, I put my heart and soul into helping Bhutan set up its first national institute for governance and strategic studies and became its first resident faculty (See RIGSS).
The Place of Position
Position is the first temple one encounters on the road to purposeful living. The lesson to glean from this temple is to know one’s place in the greater scheme of things, and not allow one’s position to dictate one’s purpose. Each position one finds oneself in must be used for good. In return, it will yield its just rewards for doing good. One ought not deny oneself the sustenance provided by position, for the journey ahead is still long. At the same time, one ought not linger too long at this temple, lest it becomes too palatial to move from when it is time to move on.
