Musings From a Dinner
What have I learnt from serving a king? I thought about this question after attending a recent launch of the new Singapore-Guwahati-Bhutan route by Drukair. It was good to see so many familiar Singaporean and Bhutanese faces at the event. Someone then asked me why I was not wearing a gho (Bhutan’s national dress for men, which I wear when I work in Bhutan) to the occasion.
That innocuous question led me to think many thoughts. For example, would it be cultural appropriation to wear a gho when a foreigner like myself is not in Bhutan? (Probably.) Is it possible for people who do not wear ghos and kiras to still have the interest of Bhutan in their hearts? (Yes. Why not?) Is it possible to have the interest of more than one country in one’s heart? (Why not? In fact, many of the global issues facing us today, such as climate change, enforced human migration, or trade, demand that we operate out of genuine co-interest for communities of nations rather than just self-interest.)
I thought also about the people I encountered while in Bhutan. For example, what are the similarities and differences in rendering a service to political office holders versus serving a king? (There are indeed similarities and differences. However, the differences are significant, because ultimately, political office holders are not kings.)
More personally, I asked myself what I have learnt from my time serving a king. This question may be of some interest to my friends, many of whom may not have had the opportunity to be in such service. It is this that I will share here.
Caveats
In sharing these reflections, let me say upfront that I am in no position to preach to the converted. Many kingdom citizens, including the Bhutanese, have only known service to their kings their entire lives. I don’t think my 6 years of service is anything in comparison to these faithful servants of their king.
At the same time, in sharing what I have observed, I do not claim intimate knowledge with any king. All I have are my own reflections of my limited encounters with a particular king (examples of which can be found here and here.)
Service: Qualification or Grace?
With regard to service, one can serve due to qualification, or one can serve as a result of the king’s grace. Qualification is obvious – one has the talent, opportunity and application to serve and is therefore called into service.
The latter, that of grace, is less obvious a route. To understand service from the perspective of grace, one must first recognise that kings do not require any of our services. As kings, they have enough resources at their disposal to carry out their will. At a single command, a king’s intent is actualised. In the face of such power, service to a king can only be viewed as an act of grace granted by the king, not as a service rendered to with hidden hopes of recompense.
Record, Read and Reflect on the Heart and Mind of a King
Another realisation I had was that one cannot serve a king unless one first knows the king’s heart and mind. By this, I do not mean to hog a king’s time with endless questions. That would detract him from the many other things calling for his attention. What I mean, rather, is that one must first be responsible to read up and reflect on any clues pertaining to how he may think. Every speech, story or saying – these are the raw materials for one’s personal reflection to get to know the king better.
Even in the most ideal of circumstances, it takes time and effort to know someone well. But when one only has secondary sources to rely on, one needs to demonstrate both diligence and discernment to piece together the information by which to discover the shape of a person’s heart. It means compiling all the speeches1 made by the king (a task more easily achieved in this day and age), and chronicling all the encounters the king has had with his people (less easy but no less important).
Next, one has to reflect on the material collected, reading syntopically to draw connections between formal speeches and informal snippets of royal encounters. At all times, one continues to gather new information, as the more complete the set of raw materials to work with, the less skewed one’s reflection will be.
Aligned in Heart, Mind and Hands
The key outcome for such research is to achieve alignment. Without aligning one’s own ambition to the king’s aspirations, one can mistakenly serve a different king of one’s own making. Too easily, one can claim to act for a king’s interest or chime a king’s name and still ring hollow. One may even have acted with the best of intentions. But the heart is deceitful above all else. Without regular and rigorous alignment, it is hard to ascertain if one’s heart is right with the king.
As one’s heart becomes aligned, one’s mind gradually follows. With an aligned mind, individual actions become aligned as well. This unity between purpose, intent and action is critical because it is not always to the most talented or to the privileged that kings entrust their kingdoms. Rather, as an individual manifests a minimal threshold of talent and application, he gains trust according to the level of alignment he demonstrates. It is to these faithful and true servants of the kingdom that a king relies on. For there is nothing more dangerous than allowing a highly talented but misaligned individual too much of a free hand. Giving such a person the keys to the kingdom can lead to disaster.
Wear and Work Out One’s Kingdom Identity
To serve a king means that one has to work out one’s kingdom identity. Just as no king exists without a kingdom, neither can a kingdom exist without kingdom-mindedness in its people. And just as every good king is in alignment with his kingdom, so too must any professed kingdom service stem from kingdom-mindedness. Hence, a person who serves a king must work out for oneself what it means to be kingdom-minded.
To be kingdom-minded is not just about putting on a national dress with pride. It is about working out one’s kingdom identity that unites oneself to others regardless of position, place, race, language or religion. Every person regardless of color or creed must clarify for oneself what it means to be a member of the kingdom in service of a king. What the eventual fabric may look like for one’s national identity depends on how much diligence and discernment went into the stitching. Be it a uniform hue, or a coat of many colors, when faithfully worked out and stitched together, one can wear it with pride.
Rohi – A Key Fabric of Kingdom-Mindedness
Having described the function of kingdom-mindedness, I want to describe a key fabric that goes into its fashioning. In a previous article, I expressed my frustration with the inability of the English language to convey key ideas succinctly. Likewise, I encounter a similar situation here. The word to describe this particular aspect of kingdom mindedness is found in a Hebrew word called “Rohi“. It combines several key ideas.
To “rohi” is to shepherd, to provide for, to find and protect safe pastures for one’s flock, and to be a friend and companion to all. To be a shepherd is to know one’s flock by name, to protect it from wildlife and from danger. A shepherd knows where to find safe pastures, and knows how to direct the wandering flock to the right destination. A shepherd pursues a stray relentlessly until it is found again. In response to such loving care, the flock learns to recognise the call of the shepherd.
Rohi for the Kingdom
In my short term of service to the King of Bhutan, I believe he role models each of the attributes described above. But great that he already is in his shepherding (rohi) of the kingdom, greater is the hope made alive through his example. Because through him, the way to similar kingdom-mindedness is made available for all in the kingdom. In him, rohi is demonstrated. Therefore, for all who profess to serve by his name, a similar rohi is to be expected.
Because a king loves (rohi), that is why we also ought to be a shepherd for those around us. If a king rohi (provides for) his people, then we too must offer a similar tithe of rohi to those in need. As a king demonstrates rohi (friendship) to all, so too we must greet, connect with, and befriend fellow countrymen. Kingdom-mindedness demands that we connect for kingdom collaboration, continuity and community.
The Offer of Rohi From a King
Ultimately, to serve a king is to serve alongside him as a friend (rohi). This is made possible because a king first offers rohi (friendship). However, when the king offers rohi, it is not an offer to a pally, fist-bump, hi-five relationship. Rather, it is because friendship is the only way for any mutually accountable partnership to occur between a king and his people. All other relationships are unequal, and, given the difference in status, rightly so. A king is still king even as he extends rohi (friendship) to his people. But in role-modeling this rohi, we learn to practice rohi with other kingdom-minded people, and to partner for a better future of the kingdom despite differences in position, place, race, language or religion. As friends, kingdom service is simply better.
What Does it Mean for Us Without Kings?
In Singapore, as in many parts of the world, we do not get to experience what it means to work for an earthly king. Instead, we may occasionally find self-installed “kings” at work. These are people who “lord” over others. They are the ones from whom we need to “seek an audience” in order to meet. They establish their “thrones”, demanding total control during their “reign”.
All these are words and ideas associated with monarchy. But unlike worthy kings, they are pretenders who usurp the language and form without demonstrating kingdom-mindedness or practicing the substance of “rohi“. When we work with them, we feel as oppressed as any folk serving under a tyrant.
These days, we read of leaders from different parts of the world who seem to be completely out of touch with reality. This misalignment presents itself as self-aggrandizement. For example, some leaders revel in having long motorcades or in demanding that traffic stop for them as they get from place to place. They feel affirmed when there are numerous bodyguards to keep them separate from the “common people”. They are offended when seated in a place of lesser honor befitting their protocol. For many ‘normal’ leaders, these practices are necessary for work. But for misaligned leaders, it is their interpretation of the work practices that is at issue here. For them, practices designed to facilitate work and ensure security have become golden calves of self-glory.
Rohi The Heart
For leaders who pretend to be kings, the heart of the matter is the matter of the heart. If leadership feels lonely for them, it is because they have forgotten what it means to rohi. They fail to practice rohi because they have moved out of alignment.
Wayward hearts are like sheep gone astray. These hearts are in need of a shepherd (rohi) to bring them home. To rohi a heart is to shepherd it to where it needs to be. When we rohi at work, we transform toxic workplaces into safe pastures where hearts can heal. Not only do we give hope to those in despair and a way for those who are lost, we also role model for the remaining flock what it means to be kingdom-minded. Yet too often, we don’t dare or don’t know how to rohi.
Let’s Start!
So what have I learnt from my service to a king? I think I have learnt many things. Chief amongst all the insights is the notion of rohi.
Is your workplace in need of rohi? If you are a person of influence, are you practicing rohi? What is preventing you from role-modeling rohi? If you have tried and failed, I encourage you to keep trying. Just as a king would never give up on his kingdom, we too ought never give up on being more kingdom-minded.
