Retreat Reflections
In my recent retreat, I examined my heart. I looked at what my heart considers as treasure and what distracts its from real treasures. As a result, I have embarked on a process of decluttering my heart. Some days are better than others, but I recognise it is a discipline, like how one needs to remove weeds or water the plants at the appropriate time.
My next retreat is in June. The theme of that retreat will be “Life“. In preparation, I am starting to think about how to weigh my life. So far, I have 4 sets of questions to ask of myself:
- What is soul-enriching for me in every season? What does it look like to derive joy and flourish while on the journey of life? What does a life-giving, sustainable and enjoyable cadence look like?
- What would a life highly aligned with my personal values look like? Would my calendar be filled with busy things or with events that stitch together as part of a greater tapestry?
- At the end of my life, how would I have grown? What would a life of wisdom look like?
- If I were to write a CV, what would God be proud of? What sort of achievements would He say, “Well done, good and faithful servant!” to?
These 4 prompt form the acronym S.A.G.A: Soul-enriching, Aligned, Growth and Achievements.
Quite apt, since I want my life to be a saga that testifies to God’s goodness. Being unremarkable by birth or giftedness, my life saga is not dependent on pedigree. Rather, I believe my adoption into God’s family, as His child, is strong enough of a reason for me to live well beyond my natural means. Afterall, Christ promised that He has come “that (I) may have life, and have it in abundance.” (John 10:10).
From Drudgery to a Different Kind of Life
This stands in sharp contrast to a previous lifestyle I endured; enslaved to work yet unhappy and unfulfilled, reasonably remunerated yet not growing and not proud of where I was heading in life.
I felt my time was frittering away in activities that meant little to me. My skills were being deployed in areas that were not life-giving for me. My marriage was drifting away from me, and I was increasingly alienated from my then-growing kids. It was as if the earlier part of John 10:10 was being played out in real time: “A thief comes only to steal, kill and destroy.”
During those years of wandering in my own desert, I wished I had come across Ronald Rolheiser’s book “Sacred Fire“. In it, he cited 3 questions (which I poorly paraphrase)
- What is the wise thing to do in this situation?
- What is the thing to do that gives you joy?
- What must I do?
Those 3 questions, for me, translated to
- The exercise of one’s intellect to discern the best way forward.
- The permission for one’s heart to be given voice.
- The wisdom and discipline to live up to one’s divine calling and design.
Perhaps had I encountered those three questions earlier, the saga of my life would have panned out differently. I don’t know.
Looking Ahead to June
But what I do know is this: I now have language and lenses—S.A.G.A on one hand, and Rolheiser’s three questions on the other—to help me weigh my life more intentionally.
As June approaches, I’m looking forward to investing dedicated time in my next retreat to explore these things:
- What is truly soul-enriching for me in life?
- Where does my current way of living align—or misalign—with my deepest values?
- In what ways am I actually growing in wisdom, or merely getting older?
- And if my life were a CV before God, what “achievements” would make Him smile and say, “Well done, good and faithful servant”?
One may never live a life that looks remarkable on paper. But if my quiet, ordinary days can add up to a saga of God’s goodness—soul-enriching, aligned, growing, and marked by the kind of achievements that matter to Him—then that, for me, will be a life well weighed, and a life well lived.
